Secret Stress... No Friend to Me.

I have these thoughts that I have to get out before they quite literally kill me.
Many of you know that I have RA (rheumatiod arthritis).
It doesn't typically affect my day to day unless I get stressed out.
When I get stressed I get these horrible flare ups. So bad that it makes it difficult to do my everyday tasks.
Well I have a flare up now and truthfully I was like " I am not stressed out". Yes, there are plenty of changes going on in our lives but we asked for them. We are happy to be serving God and I just didn't understand because I didn't "feel" stress.
This morning as I was reheating the cherry pit pillow for the 3rd time since 4:30 this morning I realized something.
 See my stress has been my secret. Almost as if I was keeping it a secret from myself.
I really want our house to sell but I know God has it under control.
I want terribly to move closer to Dave's new job but I get the fact that we move in God's time not ours......
Here's when it smacked me in the face... I know all of that and I believe it.
I just hadn't given it to Him.
I know we need to sell the house but I haven't given God our house to sell.
It's as if I was holding it tightly in my hands going "ok God do what You want with it" but I wasn't letting it go.
It's ironic really.... the pain I am having is in my shoulder. It's as if God as a parent is kinda putting that little squeeze on my shoulder to guide me the way He wants me to go. As a mom I know that move too well.
:)
I smile at the idea that God is not just the guide in the sky He is real enough to lovingly guide me, even if that means a little discipline.  I don't think I have ever enjoyed discipline so much. My shoulder really hurts but it almost feels worth it when I realize that God loves me enough to come so close as to give me pain to teach me to be more like Him.

So when you want to secretly hold onto your world... just remember who you are fighting with.... He can't lose... I wouldn't want Him to.