Clean Fridge.

Well after spending a week eating really healthy I have decided to get my family into a better eating schedule. So my thinking was that we should organize the fridge in such a way that it makes eating healthier easier.

So I decided to clean out the fridge.

Eeek! This is Before.

Still Before.

Ahhh After.

See how everything is in its place?

Baby carrots and grapes in containers that even Jaxon can manage.

That way he can go get something healthy if he is hungry.

All the drinks on the bottom shelf and veggies packed neatly into their climate controlled drawer. The oranges on the other side because I really like cold oranges.

I know this might not seem like a big deal to some of you and lol your fridge probably looks this good all the time. God has just been pressing on my heart my need to keep this family healthy.

I CAN NOT wait until the market opens back up. Wal-mart doesn't really have great produce options.

Anyway this is just a day in the life of me.

BLESSINGS INDEED!!

Well not many things have changed as far as news about a Baby.

We are still waiting but I believe that the last time I updated we needed something like $1.400 and after a few true blessings we are at $500. Can you even believe that?

As I typed that, tears filled in my eyes. We looked at $22,000 and held it high before the throne because we knew that we would need God to come up with that kind of money. Now here we are and and we only need $5oo. PLEASE don't ever tell me that our God is small or not able to do GREAT things!! We serve the God of the Universe. He loves us!

So here we sit.

Dave and I had a great vacation. My amazing cousin and her husband opened their home to us. It was a huge blessing. We had time to detox and think. To pray and relax.

We finished our weekend by visiting Dave's family in Norwich. Another great blessing. Dave's sisters have become like my own and I love them so dearly. And as if things couldn't get any better. We stopped in quickly to drop something off at a friend's house (The Darlings) and Jim pulled in behind us. With the biggest grin I think I have ever seen him wear, he said " Wait a second and I will put my boy up in the window so you can see him". Dave and I both grinned ear to ear!! What a treat!! So we all waved and smiled. Jaxon was yelling from the back seat " Hi JAMESY".

For those of you who don't know. Our friends JUST brought their son Jamesy home from Ethiopia.

Again, who doesn't believe in a Mighty, Caring , Loving, Just God?

He is so real and is still moving in ways I have never seen before.

When did it happen?

God has worked in my heart so much.
It's funny to think that this time last year adoption wasn't really the first thing on my mind.
Now I don't go very long without thinking about our Baby and where they might be and who is taking care of him or her. We pray for that person everyday.
This week we spent some time away from home. Just a little break away from the "normal".
I am so thankful for this time. It was great to look at life from outside my bubble.
I don't know if any of you have a great relationship with your cousins but I am blessed. I find myself wondering when did it happen that my cousins became some of my dearest friends?
I am so thankful to my Mom and Aunt for allowing us kids to spend so much time together.
It was pretty often that I would spend days, even sometimes weeks, at Aunt Sandy's house.
I didn't know it then..... But God was preparing my heart for relationships that would develop into GREAT "grown up" relationships.
Now those of you who aren't my cousins won't really get this.
But who knew that "pow-wows" would turn into grown up serious conversations.
If you don't have a great relationship with your cousins just remember it's not too late.
Seriously!! Don't be scared!
Anyway Thanks Mom and Aunt Sandy for making us work through our little "dramas" so that we could grow up to be great friends!!

Results!!

I don't even have words.

We have been so blessed.

We use the phrase "God is Good" but I still need to be reminded. (thats another blog)

Ok soon I will post pictures of the Adoption Fund Raiser Spaghetti Dinner.

We had a great night. We didn't get an official count but we are guessing around 150 friends, family and supporters came to help us.

Let me just start by saying God has not left us alone in this. We are amazed at the amount of people who have come to support us. It is very common for adopting families to take this journey alone. Thank you for making our situation the rarity.

God has blessed us indeed! At the beginning of Saturday afternoon we needed to raise $5,000.

By the end of Saturday night we had raised $3,550!!!! $1,000 of that was just PEANUT BUTTER BALLS!!!!! Can you believe that?!! Our sweet sweet friend spent hours in her kitchen pouring so much time energy and love into each of those pieces of candy.

So we need about $1,400.

After looking at a $22,000 goal and thinking we would never get there.... $1,400 seems like nothing.

So thank you. Thank you to all of you who came out and supported us. Thank you for being willing to give of yourselves. THANK YOU to all the people who spent the day with us... setting up, cooking, cleaning. God has used you to bring our Baby one step closer to home.

I won't forget this day.

Well I said that our lives would never be the same after this and thats the truth.

So at 4:57 after a long day of waiting my phone finally rang.

It was our SW who I could not possibly love more. With so much grace and love ( I think she was crying too) she told us that the Birth Mom had chosen another family. The Birth Mom had really wanted a hispanic parent for her baby and thankfully BCS found a match. The adoptive Mom is also a nurse. So that is a huge blessing.

I really could not be happier that this Baby Boy has a home and a family to love him.

I am hurting and crying only for my own selfishness.

I hurt because of what I wanted for myself.

God has given me peace. I am SURE that I am not done crying but peace is in my soul.

I know that God has a plan and a special Baby just for us.

So I am just thankful that of all the almost 163 million orphan children.... tonight there is one less.

No matter what happens after this our lives will never be the same.

Ok so here is the deal.

We weren't planning on sharing quite yet but I have come to the conclusion that the more people who take this before the throne the better.

So here it goes...

Friday evening Dave and I went away to celebrate our anniversary. We left the hotel and I forgot my phone. So when we got back after dinner, I noticed I had missed a call from our SW.

Nervously, I listened to the message and called her back.

This is what she told us.

There is a little boy who was born in New Jersey. His Birth Mom had to have an emergency c-section at 35 weeks. He wasn't doing great so he was air-lifted to the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP).

He only weighed a little over 4 pounds when he was born on Feb. 12th.

Now 3 weeks later he is just over 5 pounds.

He is still at C.H.O.P and is taking about 50% of his food from a bottle and the other 50% from a feeding tube in his nose. He has some blood sugar issues that are causing a lot of the eating issues.

So he will be at C.H.O.P until the Birth Mom makes her choice about which profile (family) she will allow to raise him.

So tomorrow sometime the Birth Mom will make her choice and will get a call from our SW letting us know either way.

If she does choose us... we will begin the journey to bringing home our son!!!

Here is where we need prayer....

1. that the Birth Mom will be given peace. That she will know very clearly who to give her child to. I can't begin to imagine how hard that must be. Pray that she has peace.

2. that whether we get this little boy or not that the feeding tube could come out. A feeding tube in a little tiny baby is hard. Pray that the blood sugar issues will correct themselves and he would be able to eat on his own.

and

3. that Dave and I will have strength for whatever God is about to take us through.

The reality is that she might not choose us and if thats the case we will need to be reminded that God knows and is in total control. We are taking comfort in the fact that God has a Baby for us and if this is not our Baby thats ok. We are just thankful that no matter what she chooses this Baby will have a family when all is said and done.

Thanks for taking this journey with us.

Just remember I am not a poet or a great writer.

Quick update on the dinner...

Sauce

Pasta

Bread and butter

Salad

AND

Meatballs

have ALL been donated!!

I am so excited to see what God is going to do. I am also really nervous that we are only going to have a few people there.

I know that I have nothing to fear and that God will allow who He wants to be there.

(i just took a really deep breath)

I have tears filling in my eyes right now.

I have had a lot on my mind and a few things that I have really wanted to blog about but I have really been struggling with putting it into words. So please offer grace as you read this.

Yesterday I went to the Doctor. For those of you who don't know I have rheumatiod arthritis (RA).

I have been on a chemotherapy for almost 4 years. I have had a lot of unrest about it. God has been so faithful and I can't tell you how many times I have been in my Dr.'s office and he would say things like " I don't understand... you should be in pain". So yesterday with the best husband in the world beside me and some great friends and family praying.... I went knowing that I have known this Dr. for 7 years and he is pretty set in his ways. I went with a list, thinking I would have to fight for my point.... BUT PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE to GOD... he was like " I think you are right... lets get you off the meds".

I was floored!!!

I know to some of you this might not seem like a big deal but this was a HUGE HUGE blessing for me. So now we just need to pray that I can correct my RA with diet.

Ok so now here is some adoption news...

Today I got a call from New Hope Family Services. We had looked into them before settling with Bethany Christian Services. We had gone to an information meeting in August and were told that our wait time would be about 4 years. So we filled out an application but knew we would probably go another direction.

Anyway so this afternoon they called. They very kindly invited us to start the home study process. I tried really hard not to chuckle. I explained that we had moved forward and we are already approved for our adoption. This is the part that kinda made me a little sick.... She said " We took your name because not many people will adopt a child outside their race, you were willing so thats why". I asked if I could do anything to still have us be considered. What will probably happen is that if all of the other applicants don't meet the qualification or are unable to take the baby that she will call us.

As I am writing this the lyrics are playing " everything rides on hope now, everything rides on faith somehow"

Hmmmm......

I didn't plan that.

Anyway~

I am not down or sad but still have this desire for my child. I am not angry or frustrated I just long to hold our Baby and tell them that I am their Mommy. I want to rock our Baby close and tell them that I am not going to leave. I want to run to our Baby when they cry and comfort them.

I want our Baby to know that their BirthMom made a really hard choice but she chose life for them and that means that I get the privilege to whisper in their ear that God designed them and He has a plan for their life.