Sauce
Pasta
Bread and butter
Salad
AND
Meatballs
have ALL been donated!!
I am so excited to see what God is going to do. I am also really nervous that we are only going to have a few people there.
I know that I have nothing to fear and that God will allow who He wants to be there.
(i just took a really deep breath)
I have tears filling in my eyes right now.
I have had a lot on my mind and a few things that I have really wanted to blog about but I have really been struggling with putting it into words. So please offer grace as you read this.
Yesterday I went to the Doctor. For those of you who don't know I have rheumatiod arthritis (RA).
I have been on a chemotherapy for almost 4 years. I have had a lot of unrest about it. God has been so faithful and I can't tell you how many times I have been in my Dr.'s office and he would say things like " I don't understand... you should be in pain". So yesterday with the best husband in the world beside me and some great friends and family praying.... I went knowing that I have known this Dr. for 7 years and he is pretty set in his ways. I went with a list, thinking I would have to fight for my point.... BUT PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE to GOD... he was like " I think you are right... lets get you off the meds".
I was floored!!!
I know to some of you this might not seem like a big deal but this was a HUGE HUGE blessing for me. So now we just need to pray that I can correct my RA with diet.
Ok so now here is some adoption news...
Today I got a call from New Hope Family Services. We had looked into them before settling with Bethany Christian Services. We had gone to an information meeting in August and were told that our wait time would be about 4 years. So we filled out an application but knew we would probably go another direction.
Anyway so this afternoon they called. They very kindly invited us to start the home study process. I tried really hard not to chuckle. I explained that we had moved forward and we are already approved for our adoption. This is the part that kinda made me a little sick.... She said " We took your name because not many people will adopt a child outside their race, you were willing so thats why". I asked if I could do anything to still have us be considered. What will probably happen is that if all of the other applicants don't meet the qualification or are unable to take the baby that she will call us.
As I am writing this the lyrics are playing " everything rides on hope now, everything rides on faith somehow"
Hmmmm......
I didn't plan that.
Anyway~
I am not down or sad but still have this desire for my child. I am not angry or frustrated I just long to hold our Baby and tell them that I am their Mommy. I want to rock our Baby close and tell them that I am not going to leave. I want to run to our Baby when they cry and comfort them.
I want our Baby to know that their BirthMom made a really hard choice but she chose life for them and that means that I get the privilege to whisper in their ear that God designed them and He has a plan for their life.
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