Our New "Normal"

OK well now our world is settling into its new "normal"!

I'm hoping this means I will be able to set aside time to keep up with my blog.

The bundle of Baby Boy has been occupying all my extra time. Something I have really enjoyed (wink)!

To be clear, when we first brought him home I was SO TIRED! HAHA!

I had forgotten how much work a tiny baby is.

That's why I am so happy that we have finally found some sort of routine.

Dawson is sleeping 7-8 hours straight every night, which is AMAZING!

It is really funny how a full night's sleep can change your perspective.

So~ Now we are looking to the New Year!

I am not necessarily one of those resolution kind of people, but this new year will have many new adventures for our family.

Selling the House

Dave's Position Change

Raising 2 little boys at a Camp

Moving to Camp for 10-12 weeks of the Summer

Figuring out where we will move when the house sells

All these things could start to seem overwhelming but truthfully they don't to me.

I LOVE this part!!

We have functioned in a lot of gray for a long time! Now it seems like the color is here and it looks so bright!!

I am SO SO SO very excited to see what God does next.

We are blessed beyond all measure!!

This is my final thought...

As we get ready to start this New Year, what are you gonna do?

At the cross roads when you can choose what kind of attitude you are gonna have, what are you gonna choose?

When God throws you a curve ball are you gonna duck?

My challenge is this...

Come out on the ledge and trust God. He is gonna do HUGE things and He wants to know if you are willing to come along. Let me say this, the ride is bumpy but so worth it!!

When living out loud mean leaving what you know...

This is a really tough blog to write. I haven't even started and tears are filling in my eyes.

Let's start back at the beginning.

A year and half ago we stopped sitting on the sidelines, waiting for others to make changes. We were struck with the fact that there is a need to care for orphans. We started pursuing domestic infant adoption. In that process God pressed farther. It started out as nudges but quickly became obvious to us that we have so much. So last spring we decided that we would sell our house. We decided that we were going to trust God's leading. God brought it to our attention that we are too comfortable. That we have a house and a warm place to sleep every night and that there are children without these basic staples. These children are going to sleep at night with empty bellies and empty hearts. It broke our hearts. So our plan is to sell our home and downsize. To rent an apartment because, to be frank, equity has no bearing on eternity.

At this point I was like "Ok God... You are done stretching us now right?"

He wasn't.

Late in the summer we were asked to consider a new position. Which would mean leaving our "normal", our "comfortable".

It would take this jumping out on a ledge thing to a whole new level.

After LOTS of prayer and wise counsel we have decided that this is God. He is moving us.

So last Monday evening Dave accepted the Assistant Director position at Camp BaYouCa.

BaYouCa is like a second home to me. It is where both Dave and I have made most of our life changing decisions. It's where we met :)

I couldn't be more excited!

But in the very same breath; so sad to leave what we know.

Our church has been a HUGE support system for us.

Now not much will change. We will still attend Faith. We will continue to be Youth Leaders. Things are just going to look very different.

I think what this comes down to is change.

Change is scary and unknown.

So here we are again. Out on the ledge saying "God, we are ready. We trust YOU"

To all our friends and family at Faith,

Please know that we are not done yet! We are still a part of this with you. God is getting ready to do HUGE things with you. You have been our home and a huge source of strength for us. You are our family and we love you. We don't plan on leaving all that :) Our role will look different, but our passion to see God do something in our church will not change. We love you all!

And here is my prayer.

Lord,

We love you! Lord, You asked us to trust You and hold on. You called us out to this ledge. I am not going to lie and say that it's not scary. Lord, thanks for the blessings. The first time You called us to the ledge YOU gave us Dawson. Lord, he is an amazing baby boy and everyday I fall more and more madly in love with him. Thank YOU for bringing our boy home to us.

Lord, this move is intimidating and a scary thought but we trust You. We know that You are not done yet. Lord, You know how much we love BaYouCa. You also know that BaYouCa is at a crucial point. You know all the details. Lord, we are holding on to You so tightly. You know that I am not afraid to live out loud but it's scarier when I think of our tiny boys and how much this will dramatically change their lives forever. Lord, I want our boys to know that Mommy and Daddy love YOU enough to step away from comfortable. So Lord, I am gonna close my eyes and leap. Dave and I love you so much Lord. We are gonna gather our little family up and leap into Your safe arms. Lord, we trust You.

Thank You for moving us and changing us. We are Your servants. We love You. Amen.

A few thoughts and a tiny soap box!

It has been WEEKS since I have had a chance to sit and blog. A lot of things factor into that. We only have 1 laptop and its normally with the Hubbers. We have also been pretty busy getting back into the routine that includes a tiny baby. I haven't minded that at all.

I had forgotten so much about tiny babies. I was surprised what came flooding back to me.

All that to say I wanted to update but also blogging is a nice break for me. I love to sit and just type out my thoughts.

I don't even know where to begin... So when you are done reading this and you go "that didn't fill me in at all"... write a comment and I will do my best to answer any questions you might have.

As far as adoption stuff...

We had our first "unsupervised" meeting with the Birth Mom and it went great!!

We met and had icecream. I can't even explain how great it was.

She was there with some family and friends. We just sat and talked and took turns holding the baby boy.

A few things happened that night that made me sure we had made the right move but the one that brought me to tears was...

As we were packing things up to leave, Jaxon was starting to cry and he very calmly and tearfully said " Goodbye Dawson". Despite our best efforts to explain everything he was still really confused. As I reached out to comfort him She (Birth Mom) reached across and put her hand on his and said " Dawson is YOUR brother, he is going home with YOU'' .... Not gonna lie I was choking back tears.

I needed her to be the one to comfort Jaxon's fears. I needed to hear those words from her and truthfully I think she needed that situation just as badly as we did.

It was a great evening!

I have really been thinking a lot about open adoption. People as a rule just don't seem to understand. I wish I could snap pictures of the faces people have made when we explain our situation.

I don't want to get up on a soap box. So I am gonna keep this short and sweet.

If you decided to do a domestic infant adoption, undoubtably you would have some fear. You would ask questions like " Is she still ok with this?" or " Is she gonna change her mind?"

You think you won't ask questions, but trust me you do!

Ok so wouldn't you rather have open lines of communication where you can send her a text or email and say " Hey I was thinking about you today and just wanted to see if you were alright"

To which she replies and is open about her thoughts and fears but is so thankful that you are still talking with her.

I am not saying that it's not scary. I am not even saying that you will have no fear. What I am saying is instead of having to guess how she feels you can just ask her.

For US... there is no better way. I LOVE our Birth Mom she is amazing. She is intelligent and funny. She adores Dawson and Jaxon. We are truly blessed.

I understand that not every situation will be like ours. I know that it's different with every adoption but I think when you go out on the ledge and trust God... He will open your eyes to the design and joy of open adoption.

OK~ So that was a tiny soap box!

Now on to other things. We are keeping plenty busy getting things together for the Christmas Season!

Jaxon has been asking a lot about Christmas and why we celebrate it. Which brings true joy to my heart. I think he is really close to coming to a place where he accepts Jesus as his Savior.

I have so much more to write but at this point I am drawing a blank.

I have planned on a series of blogs that I would really like to write so I hope that will be soon.

So be patient with me, as I adjust to this new "normal"