lies!

Why is telling a lie so easy?

I think of it periodically because deceit was a HUGE problem for me in my teen years.

I find it interesting how quickly I can fall back into it.

With silly things like .....

My kids say mom can we ( insert some crazy or time consuming thing, that I am not excited about cleaning up)
and I reply "in a few minutes"
KNOWING that I don't plan to allow them to do what they suggested.

That's silly but NO LESS of a lie.

Then in bigger things like when someone asks my opinion and I am fearful of what they will think if they hear my "real" thoughts... So I tell them what they want to hear. Still a lie right?

OR OR

When I add a tiny more exciting element to a story just to make people more impressed with me.... Still a lie?

Are these words hurting anyone? Not really, but am I creating a character that people (my children, friends and family) can trust?


I read verses like these:

Proverbs 19:9 

A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish.

Proverbs 12:22 

Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.

And I think... So where do I go from here?

Am I doomed to be the person who subtly lies for the rest of her life?

I know God hates it and I know I don't really want to have anything to do with it. 

So what do I do from here? Where do I go next?

First, I remind myself that God doesn't hate me. 

It sounds funny to say but I need constant reminding that God loves me so much and that He is NOT this power hungry Being in the sky. I force myself to instead remember that He is loving, gentle and quick to forgive. That always astounds me because I mess up ALL THE TIME. Yet He loves me, seeks me out, enjoys my love.

Second, I remember the HUGENESS of His love. I remind myself that the silly lies or "BIG" sin issues I am having are ALL paid for. He sent His Son to shed blood all over that ugly sin in my life. 

Third, I put off the silly petty lies and resolve to be a truth teller.

So when my children ask me to do something I would rather not; instead of saying "In a few minutes" or "Maybe later" I will say " Hey guys, that project has a lot of little details that I would rather not clean up, IF you guys can promise to clean up the mess then sure we can do..."

When it comes to giving my opinion on a sensitive subject; instead of just saying what I think they want to hear I could say " You know that is a sensitive subject. Are you sure you are ready to hear thoughts that might be different from yours or something you might not like?" If the response is yes... Then with grace, love and a gentle spirit I tell them how I feel.

And as far as spicing up my stories....

That seems easy. I am going to start thinking long and hard before I decide to share a story. 

I am going to think about how useful is it that I HAVE TO SHARE A STORY? Am I trying to make the conversation about me?  

If that story is still applicable and not ME centered then I share my story... as I remember it with no added details or scenarios and pray God uses it. 

All that to say... 

I am learning that truth telling is so much more than just being honest. I want to have a truthful spirit and I NEVER want to be accused of being a liar. The thought makes me sick. 

My blog is called Living Life Out Loud and the whole concept is that I have NOTHING to hide;

that you could dig into the deepest crevice of my heart and world and there is NOTHING I would hide; NOTHING that I would be unwilling to talk about.

That said... 

I have lied. I spent a lot of my teen years deceiving anyone I could and frankly enjoying it.

Since God has changed my heart I have still lied. I have misled, bent the truth and even straight out lied. No sugar coat just plain lied.

And I am sorry. It is a battle I fear I will fight my whole life. BUT PRAISE GOD I am forgiven. PRAISE GOD!! I don't have to live in a constant state of guilt. My sin is paid for and I am set free.  

So if you knew me then -vs- now; you can see the difference.  I don't struggle with outright big ugly whoppers of lies... But as you can see, I still struggle with the silly little things that are still lies and I REFUSE to allow lies to creep back into my world and start to define me.  God has done a MIGHTY work changing the heart and mind of this crazy girl and I have no plans on returning to the sad, insecure girl who felt lies were the only way to get or keep friends. What a backwards way of thinking!! 

So if lies are your battle.... Just remember you aren't alone and you DO NOT have to stay there!