PHEWW... IT'S OVER!

So at 10:15 I was like Oh My Word she isn't here... she forgot...she is lost...she is sick. UGH! But shortly after 10:30 she came PHEWW!! From that moment on it was GREAT!! It went awesome! Jaxon did great and it was perfect!

Thanks for all the prayers!

So now we are on to the next level!

That means we just wait to be approved.

After we are approved that is when we will need the $$BIG MONEY$$

After that we just wait! Eek!!

So keep PRAYING!!

Hope Now.

I will end up posting tomorrow after the homestudy but I need to get a few things off my chest. I am a little nervous about the homestudy. I mean, who wouldn't be if someone was coming to look at your home...BUT... I am more upset about the feelings I have about satan's lies. I really truly "feel" like he wants me to believe that I am a failure, that I have already failed and there is no purpose in even trying to adopt this baby. UGH now the God who loves me and cares so much about adoption is saying "Jeanne would you just listen to me and remember the truth". The truth is that we have moved along in this process so fast... the truth is God has provided everything we needed... the truth is HE knows our Baby Blessing... and the truth is HE knows me and loves me the same.

So I am calling on Him. Those of you who know me well or follow my blog at all, you know that I love music and God often uses it to remind me to call on Him. So this song is what I will be singing all day today as I prepare to let God wow us tomorrow.

Process and Prayer.

Well for those of you who aren't sure how this process of adopting in the U.S. works, I will gladly walk you through it. Please understand all the $ amounts are based on our agency.

Step 1: Find an Adoption Agency.($50)

This is actually a little tricky. Some agencies only work in certain states or have qualifications for who can and cannot adopt. Living in New York makes it much harder. If you are interested, Bethany Christian Services is amazing. ( http://www.bethany.org/ )

Step 2: Meeting with the Agency ($450)

3 meetings usually. 1 to just go over paper work

2 for beginning interviews

3 for personal interviews

Step 3: Homestudy ($1,300)

This is when the social worker comes to your home to sorta "inspect" and make sure everything is safe and that there is adequate space for an additional child.

Step 4: Create and turn in your profile ($5,000) {this is where we are at}

You create a book for the birth mom and family to look at. This helps her to make a more informed decision.

Step 5: Wait.....

You wait until the birth mom has made a decision on who she would like to place her baby with.

Step 6: YOU GET PICKED!! ($16,000-$20,000)

Sometimes this happens early on and you have a little time to prepare. Sometimes you find out when the birth mom is already at the hospital.

Step 7: You bring your baby home!! Woot woot!!

You hug, cuddle and enjoy the tiny bundle of joy that God has blessed you with.

Step 8: You get a lawyer and go to court.

This is when they give you a legal birth certificate.

And you take a deep breath. LOL!

I am telling you all this for a few reasons.

1.People have been asking us a lot about the process so I thought I would lay it all out there.

2. I just wanted everyone to have a real idea of where we are at.

Our SW comes in a few weeks to finish our homestudy and PRAISE JEHOVAH JIREH we have that money.

BUT in order to turn in our profile we need $5,000 and I have no idea where that money is coming from. I am not going to lie... I am scared. I totally trust in God but it is hard to look blindly at a situation and have NO CLUE what God is going to do.

So we are going to do a Craft Fair where I will be selling t-shirts and homemade cards.

So I am forced to my knees again.

Please understand that this is just a genuine prayer:

Dear God,

You know my heart.... You know that my desire is to obey You.... I am scared. I am not sure why you would bring us this far to leave us hanging; that just doesn't seem like You.... Satan has a tiny tug on my heart and I am struggling not to believe him.... God, I don't know what You are planning but I trust You... I know that quite possibly You are forming our baby inside its birthmother right now... That thought brings peace to my soul... You haven't failed us and You cannot be mocked so I know you are bringing all this together for Your glory... I just want You to know the desire of my heart... and that is simply to bring this baby home to a family that loves it... Thank You Father for being the Peace and Strength I need... please forgive me for when I doubt how Awesome you are...Amen.

Last Trip to Rochester!!

It is so hard to believe but today we went to Rochester for the last of our interview "stuff". The next time we see our SW Becky she will be joining us in our home. I am very excited.

Today went GREAT!! I am not going to lie I was soooo nervous! Satan had me convinced that she was going to do my personal interview and hate me. So not true!! It was so great! Before I knew it, 45 minutes had passed and the meeting was over. Then Dave walked in and 20 minutes later walked out like it was no big deal. LOL She asked the same exact questions~ My answers were just longer apparently. So now she comes here to complete our home study. Shortly after that is complete and we are approved (early Dec.), we will have to turn in our profile and pay $5,000!!

So far everything we have needed we have had so I am not doubting God! BUT I am trying to think of a fund raising idea between now and December. So if you have any ideas please feel free to send them my way!

TeeHee!!

So here is a GREAT video!! Listen to the words. I know we are not adopting over seas but the truth still remains that we are supposed to look after the orphans and widows. God's love knows no borders it can not be held back by oceans, seas or even state lines!!

Ministry...

There is a presupposition that Pastors Wives MUST have it all together. It's just not true. We hurt, we get tired, we have days when we just aren't sure we can take it anymore. In an attempt to "Live Out Loud" I am going to be honest... there are sundays when I don't want to go to church.....EEK I know that's a big deal right? The youth pastor's wife doesn't want to go to church....HERES THE TRUTH... Sometimes Satan is fighting for my heart just like he fights for anyone's. Some sunday mornings he wants me to believe that I can't make a difference...he wants me to believe I have failed and it's not worth it. And honestly some days it's easier to believe that LIE. The good news is I am an expressive personality so I don't stay there long. I drag myself out of bed and walk into the church where I was raised and look into the faces of people who I know are hurting and remember exactly why I am doing this....I am doing this because GOD loves those who are hurting. HE wants them to run to HIM and I know what that feels like. I know how it feels to feel alone, hurt, angry, desperate and I KNOW that amazing peace that comes with holding everything I am to the sky and begging the God of the Universe to take it. So THAT is why I am in ministry. Because ministry is living your life out loud EVERY SINGLE DAY. I do this because the God who loves me calls me to be different, look different, act different.... walk away from the crowd and do it DIFFERENT and I love Him so I will.
This all stems from a great weekend I had away just to kinda think. To think about my life, my purpose and my role. My life is to bring honor and glory to the God who created me, my only purpose is to glorify Him with everything I do and my role is to be the best wife I can be to my husband and to raise my kiddos with a love, hunger and passion for the God we serve.

BLESSINGS INDEED!!

So if you read this blog at all you know what we are up to. Well the weekend of the Tastefully Simple Party we received gifts that allowed us to pay for our next level payment to Bethany Christian Services (BCS). This was a huge blessing this meant that we didn't have to use our saving yet. Well we have continued fund raising.... and after todays BBQ/Raffle/T-shirt sale we made almost exactly what we need to complete our home study. HUGE HUGE blessing!! We were able to use what we had in savings to buy what was needed as far as supplies so again HUGE blessing!! 1 more HUGE blessing. I was confused about the payment schedule. I thought we would have to pay the $5,000 for the profile in early November BUT we don't! Its not actually due until early December. That may not seem like a blessing to some but its HUGE in our book. That means we will have 1 whole extra month to gather funds. So far we have been VERY VERY blessed and I am trusting that God will provide the rest.

So here is the prayer... That God would continue to bless this situation... and that we would have the $5,000 by early December.

Sadly in all the craziness I totally forgot to get a picture of the days events! Sorry! Just ~imagine~ a good turn out! lol Oh and we sold out of chicken in about an hour!! Woot woot!!

Walking on Water

So we have all heard "if you want to walk on water you have to get out of the boat" BUT my thought is that it comes one step before that. Walking on water THAT is a miracle! Just SEEING a miracle would be enough to inspire people to make a difference. Sadly, I think we just sit on the beach and forget that God is out there doing miracles. So my challenge is this ... GET OFF THE SHORE!! Climb into a boat and go see what is happening! People's lives are being changed by the God of the Universe and you could be apart of it~ Just a thought!!

From here....

We are done with our physicals and although a few conversations have come up about my RA, it looks like we will be moving forward. We finished all our background check paper work and will be mailing that in soon. Dave and I both wrote our autobiography, which was actually kinda fun. We had our fingerprinting done. So we have gone down the check list and our social worker(SW) is pleased at how fast we are moving things along. So Oct 14th we head back to Rochester for another long meeting, where Dave and I will be interviewed on our own (kinda nervous)! Then early Nov. our SW will come here to interview Jaxon and Bethany. At which time we will have to give her a check for $1,300. Praise the Heavens we have that money. The next step is turning in our profile and in order to do that we have to give them $5, 000 and thats money we don't have. So I am on my knees! We are selling shirts doing a BBQ and thinking of every possible option but this week on the phone with the SW (who I love) she very kindly told me that her boss was looking over our paper work and noticed that we don't have the money to do the placement fee (when we get the baby $13,000). She told me that if it was her call that she would just give us a baby but thats not how the system works and that they will need to know where exactly the money is coming from. I called Dave crying because the truth is I don't really know......... God I guess would be the right answer. I just can't stand the idea that a birthmother could pick us but if we don't have the $$$ then we can't have that baby. There is something SO SO SO wrong with that. UGH! Anyway so again I am going to call on the God of the Universe who knows me by name.... who knows this baby by name.... and I am going to plead with Him that He would soften the hearts of people so that they would know how much HE loves the fatherless, so that they would understand that this is not about us anymore....this isn't about the fun of a new baby... This is our family being obedient to the God who loves us.