Ministry...

There is a presupposition that Pastors Wives MUST have it all together. It's just not true. We hurt, we get tired, we have days when we just aren't sure we can take it anymore. In an attempt to "Live Out Loud" I am going to be honest... there are sundays when I don't want to go to church.....EEK I know that's a big deal right? The youth pastor's wife doesn't want to go to church....HERES THE TRUTH... Sometimes Satan is fighting for my heart just like he fights for anyone's. Some sunday mornings he wants me to believe that I can't make a difference...he wants me to believe I have failed and it's not worth it. And honestly some days it's easier to believe that LIE. The good news is I am an expressive personality so I don't stay there long. I drag myself out of bed and walk into the church where I was raised and look into the faces of people who I know are hurting and remember exactly why I am doing this....I am doing this because GOD loves those who are hurting. HE wants them to run to HIM and I know what that feels like. I know how it feels to feel alone, hurt, angry, desperate and I KNOW that amazing peace that comes with holding everything I am to the sky and begging the God of the Universe to take it. So THAT is why I am in ministry. Because ministry is living your life out loud EVERY SINGLE DAY. I do this because the God who loves me calls me to be different, look different, act different.... walk away from the crowd and do it DIFFERENT and I love Him so I will.
This all stems from a great weekend I had away just to kinda think. To think about my life, my purpose and my role. My life is to bring honor and glory to the God who created me, my only purpose is to glorify Him with everything I do and my role is to be the best wife I can be to my husband and to raise my kiddos with a love, hunger and passion for the God we serve.