Waiting for Dad to get home.......Eek!

Have you had those days when you wake up in the morning and you know that TODAY you want to change things up? Maybe it's my personality. I don't like to just sit in normal. I wonder sometimes if its me running from me or running from facing my sins or failures. See if I have a day to just sit at home and relax I almost force something into the day.

I have learned in teaching a class that you have to ask a question and wait for an answer. Sometimes it has to get really quiet maybe even awkwardly quiet, so that the students have time to process thought.

This is kinda what I am talking about here. God (the teacher) has the question out there and instead of me sitting quietly to ponder the question, I fill my day full of noise so that I can't look and think about the question.

You may think I am crazy for not just enjoying a day off. Maybe I am.

So now the question is "What kind of questions is God asking, that have me so scared to listen"?

Truthfully, I haven't taken a lot of time to listen so I am not really sure. I just have this poking at my heart to evaluate my roles as wife, mother, daughter, friend and youth leader. This poking seems to have me consumed with guilt that I am either doing something wrong or its just time for me to grow and change a little more.... again.

The purpose of me being so out loud with this is accountability. I have had a great conversation with a dear friend about being real with our sin.

So here I am saying that I LOVE the God of the Universe. I trust Him completely. Sometimes when He is ready to make changes I feel it coming. LOL It's kinda like a kid who has gotten in trouble and mom says "just wait till dad gets home" Eek! So here I am waiting for Dad to get home. He is going to teach me and I know that He cannot allow me to have a sinful attitude so I will get discipline because He loves me enough to correct my wrong behavior.

It can be scary but I just want others to know that I am not gonna keep running. I am facing it head on today.

So..... pray for my fears

pray that I sit and listen

pray that God allows peace in my soul

pray that I take comfort in His timing.

Thanks for helping me live out loud.