I wonder sometimes if I am just saying the same things over and over just in different ways.
I think some are expecting me to write about our upcoming walk-a-thon but if you want details on that you can go here.
Although the walk-a-thon is coming up fast and very important, it isn't what I need to talk about.
Here it is...
I am sitting comfortably on my hand me down couch. We just finished a very filling dinner. My little boy is playing quietly on the floor with toys. My hubby is taking our working van to a graduation. This seems like such an average night at home BUT as I sit here I am humbled. I am blessed beyond measure and to be frank I feel sick. I am sick at the idea that I have so much. I hate the idea of starving people. I feel sick that today I had to throw away a zucchini because we didn't eat it fast enough. It literally turns my stomach that my 4 year old says "Mommy, I don't like this food". Now I know that he has no understanding that there are kids literally starving for his scraps. That actually makes me more sick because I haven't taught him that yet.
I feel terrible that I will be 28 in a few weeks and it has taken me this long to understand that God has called us to so much more.
I am just beginning to truly understand how HOLY God is.... How great and powerful He is and how much He doesn't need me but that He graciously wants to use me.
What do you think?
How long can I sit comfortable before the guilt consumes me?
I can't just sit back and do nothing but the steps I am taking just don't seem like enough.
Anyone else feel this way?
Good post Jeanne! It is hard sometimes to sit back and see everything that you have. Don't forget to purposefully and intentionally do things that keepyour eyes open to those who are needy. There are little things that you can do to teach Jaxon what is going on in the world. We are blessed that is true but we take the blessing and turn it into material nonsense. You are not the only one who feels this way. :)
ReplyDeleteI am on a mission this summer to declutter our house and as I have been thinking through the process and realizing how much "stuff" my children have, I have been thinking through how to live more simply and I too feel the guilt of how much we have, you are not the only one, we are trying to find ways to teach our boys as well. With one birthday coming up we are trying to figure out how to celebrate but not with so much material things! Thank you Jeanne for sharing on here, it is a challenge to me and I thank you for that!
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