Birthday Thoughts.

Tomorrow I will turn 28.

I chuckle a little at the idea of being 28.

Mostly, because as a little girl playing house with my cousins I never wanted to be anything older than 25.

It's funny to think about how my childhood house playing has influenced my real life.

I wanted to be married : check

I wanted to have kids: check

I wanted to cook dinner with a beautiful yellow apron and an umbrella (parasol) over my shoulder: nope! LOL

As I sit back and relax taking a stroll down memory lane, I think about all the things I wanted. All the things I SWORE I didn't want and all the things I have.

I did NOT want to marry a pastor or a farmer. teehee

I went through a faze when I only wanted to adopt kids. ( that makes me smile)

I remember wanting to be a race car driver or a mechanic.

So here I sit on the eve of turning 28.

I am married to the man of my dreams, the love of my life.

I am the mommy to a sweet, crazy, sorta silly little boy.

We are adopting a blessing into our home.

I serve in ministry with almost my entire family.

Who could ask for more?

I AM BLESSED!

Sorry no updates on the adoption. Still praying to hear something soon. We are gonna keep serving while we're waiting. Please pray with us. Pray our Baby home soon!

My fits are so similar to my 4 year olds that it's scary!

I very truly wish I was writing to say that the SW has called and we are headed to get our Baby :( I just can't.

I am reminding myself that we aren't doing this to satisfy our selfish desires. We are faithful to the journey of adoption because God is so in love with these children. We are committed because we love Him so much that we will take as many children as He wants us to. So this really isn't about me at all.

As I sit in sessions and workshops the truth that just seems to be resounding is that when it's hard I CANNOT GIVE UP!!

This isn't just about adoption it overflows into ministry and parenting. When the going gets tough in ministry you CANNOT just throw your arms up and walk away.

The same is true with parenting... for example when my beautiful little boy throws himself to the ground and screams NOOOOO!!!!!! In that moment my human response would be "ok get out of here" but I CANNOT run away from parenting.

What has hit me is that when adoption isn't going the way I want .... I can't throw myself on the ground and scream NOOOO!!!

Isn't it funny how my sin is often the same as my 4 year olds. Instead of crying over the fact that I can't have ice cream, I am crying over the fact that my Baby isn't here. Both are just as sinful.... what I would explain to Jaxon is that he can't have ice cream right now because he needs something good for him first. So then this Mommy sits almost ashamed that I am trying to tell God when I need something. I chuckle as I write that. When I think of it that way I really just need to shut up and let Him have control.

GAH!!!

Well. All you who read this blog... I start out with the plan to write something to encourage others but usually end up learning about myself and what I need to work on. teehee! Thanks for reading.

Don't tell anyone I struggle with selfishness....shhh!

I feel like I have started a blog like this before BUT here it goes...

I am an expressive so my "mood" is based a lot around my circumstances. This can be a great thing but it can also be a bad thing. It is so great when I am around passionate people or in intense situations. It's not so great when I am tired or feeling kinda down.

What's great is in my almost 28 years I have learned what usually triggers these down kinda moods.

This is probably not a news flash but it struck me pretty hard..... Are you ready for it?

Ok it's my selfishness. SHHHHHH!! Don't say it so loud. I don't want people to know that I am selfish! HAHA!

As if I could hide it.

One of the joys of wearing my heart on my sleeve or living out loud is that I can't really hide how I am feeling. So usually with me you know exactly what you are getting.

This also gets me into trouble sometimes. I struggle with staying out of things. I want to make things better so even if I am not asked I will often give my opinion.... because of course I can make this situation better.... Yup there it is again.... SELFISHNESS. I think I can make it better.

So what's next?... do I take comfort in my selfishness and hold onto it? Or do I throw it down and crush it? ... I have to be clear... the idea of throwing away my selfishness scares me... what is God gonna have to do to teach me to get rid of selfishness? ... HOW will He have to teach me? Isn't that kinda funny? ... I want to get rid of my selfishness but I am holding onto it because I am scared at HOW God will teach me to get rid of it.

What if I just got rid of it... maybe he wouldn't have to teach me some hard lesson if I would just listen the first time I was told. OUCH! Those of you who know me well, know that I often say to Jaxon " You are a first time obeyer... you should obey the first time you are told" YIKES... guess Mommy needs to practice what she preaches.

Just some random thoughts! Thanks for reading.

No News on the adoption front... still praying and waiting.

PLEASE PRAY WITH US.

Ok so here I sit.... somewhat in awe of what God has done. We have been so truly blessed. I posted it on my facebook but want to document it here on my blog. A few days ago, Dave took our walk-a-thon deposit to the bank and basically we had made a deposit and hadn't recorded it. We needed $13,600 for placement and about $3,000 for legal fees and just a little extra in case we have to travel. $17,600 is what we have in our Adoption Account!!!

God has blessed us indeed. I am so very humbled.

Here is how you can pray now. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRAY for us.

We are planning to pray everyday at lunch that our Baby will be home soon. To be clear we pray all day everyday but we would like a specific time when we all come before the Lord together. So we are hoping you will join us in prayer around your lunch time.

Here are a few specific things.

That our Baby comes home soon. This Mommy is aching for her Baby. There is a Big Brother here who can't wait to have someone to play with. There is a Daddy here excited to hold his new Baby in his arms and show it the love of The Father. We are ALL starting to feel the missing piece in our home.

Pray also if you will for the birth family. This is a huge part of what is taking our process so long. These families are hurting and have to make a really difficult choice. Pray that God would give them peace.

Please pray for our SW she is such a great person and I am so thankful for her.

Ok Baby, We are ready for YOU!! Come home soon!

We miss you and love you very much!

Can't wait to hold you!

Love Always,

Daddy, Mommy and Jaxon

Walking to change lives...

It went GREAT!! The adoption walk-a-thon was a blast and God truly blessed!! We had a great turn out. Before I tell you how much $$ we made I HAVE to tell you about the blessings God showed me today.

1. A few of my dearest friends sacrificed their entire saturday to come help out and that was a huge blessing. Mostly because a few of these girls know me so well that I don't have to talk and they already know what I am thinking... that comes in really handy at events like this. SO that was a HUGE blessing.

2. The people who came to walk. Sacrificing themselves and their time to walk (in really hot weather) to show support for us.... even as I sit here tears are rushing to my eyes. I have talked about this before but this adoption process has humbled me. Who needs "things" when you have the gifts of friendships like these. So friends came from Norwich, Binghamton and other cities offering their time and money.... again THANK YOU... we are so humbled by you. Thank you.

3. I can't even tell you how many people came up to me today, slid money into my hand and said " I don't want anything I just want you to know that I adopted and I think this is great" others said things like " I was adopted and I think this is amazing". I had mixed feelings about it at first like please don't give me any attention but as soon as I looked into these people's eyes I saw right into their loving hearts and we instantly connected. This is a God thing because recently I have felt a little bit like " nobody gets it" (which I know is satan's lies). But I love how the God of the Universe knows me well enough to give me what I need and what I needed was to really connect with people who have felt it. People who have picked it up with their own hands and held it close. I can't explain how encouraging that was.

4. I know that I will forget some people so I am not even gonna try and list them all but I know that many people were praying for us today... we felt it! The weather was perfect and we had a great day. It is truly a blessing when you can feel God's people bringing you before the Lord. He answered your prayers.

Ok so you are like ..... great Jeanne .... now tell us how you did.... Ok

Well our goal for today was to make $3,000 so we made $3,001.55

Explaining how we got to that amount is kinda funny and to be clear; from that money we have to pay for the chicken BUT that leaves us about $400 from our goal. $400! WOW I am in awe as I look at that number. So what this means is now we have ALL the $$ needed for placement and most of what we need to cover legal fees. Our Baby is closer to home!!!!

I posted a few pictures on my Facebook wall you can see them here. Sadly, things were so crazy that I didn't get pictures of everyone. So... those of you who were there take a picture of you and your family in your shirts and send them to me... please.

Overall... This was a great day! I can't even explain it. God moved and it was a blessing to watch this day unfold.

To the many of you who helped out and/or served THANK YOU!!!!! We could not have done this without you. We are so very thankful for your friendships.

Ok... I am going to bed... I am so very T I R E D.... but its a good tired.