I am an expressive so my "mood" is based a lot around my circumstances. This can be a great thing but it can also be a bad thing. It is so great when I am around passionate people or in intense situations. It's not so great when I am tired or feeling kinda down.
What's great is in my almost 28 years I have learned what usually triggers these down kinda moods.
This is probably not a news flash but it struck me pretty hard..... Are you ready for it?
Ok it's my selfishness. SHHHHHH!! Don't say it so loud. I don't want people to know that I am selfish! HAHA!
As if I could hide it.
One of the joys of wearing my heart on my sleeve or living out loud is that I can't really hide how I am feeling. So usually with me you know exactly what you are getting.
This also gets me into trouble sometimes. I struggle with staying out of things. I want to make things better so even if I am not asked I will often give my opinion.... because of course I can make this situation better.... Yup there it is again.... SELFISHNESS. I think I can make it better.
So what's next?... do I take comfort in my selfishness and hold onto it? Or do I throw it down and crush it? ... I have to be clear... the idea of throwing away my selfishness scares me... what is God gonna have to do to teach me to get rid of selfishness? ... HOW will He have to teach me? Isn't that kinda funny? ... I want to get rid of my selfishness but I am holding onto it because I am scared at HOW God will teach me to get rid of it.
What if I just got rid of it... maybe he wouldn't have to teach me some hard lesson if I would just listen the first time I was told. OUCH! Those of you who know me well, know that I often say to Jaxon " You are a first time obeyer... you should obey the first time you are told" YIKES... guess Mommy needs to practice what she preaches.
Just some random thoughts! Thanks for reading.
No News on the adoption front... still praying and waiting.
This makes me giggle and sigh at the same time! We all struggle with it, that's for sure. It's not an easily learned lesson! But, by God's grace, we are getting a little better...at least on some days!! :)
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