Wide Awake.

It's 4:22 AM!!

Those of you who know me, are laughing at the idea of me being awake at this hour. I have actually been wide awake for about an hour now. Not sure whats going on.

I woke up after a nightmare, just to lay here (at first) in fear.

I went and checked in on my little kiddo. Pulled his blanket up over his shoulders and just watched him for a few minutes. Lately, I have just been breathing him in. Enjoying the times that he will sit with me and cuddle (VERY RARE). He is always on the move!

Then I grabbed the laptop and snuggled back into bed.

I am not sure why I am awake. I often wake up a few times a night. This has been going on for a while now. As a matter of fact I went back to when I first mentioned these feelings and you can read it here. So anyway, its pretty common for me to wake up and feel overwhelmed or just long to be up making a bottle. But this time feels different. I am not sure if it's because I know what's hanging in the balance or if God has me awake to notice something or learn something. It could be ALL these things I suppose.

Lord,

I am not sure why I am wide awake. I know that these last few days have been a test of my faith and patience. I know You are working in my heart to make me more like You, and I am thankful. Lord, I am confident in You. When this world around me seems so unsteady I take comfort in Your rock solid right hand. I am thankful to be called Your child. Lord, we want nothing more than to bring honor and glory to Your Name. We want to be a light for You. Lord, thank You for the blessings in our lives. Thank YOU for bringing us to this place and teaching us. Thank You for not giving up on this weary soul.

Lord, this is my request, You know my heart. For this child we have prayed... Lord please hear our prayers. Please bring our Baby home soon. Lord, I love You and this life is Yours to do with what You will. No matter the outcome we are still gonna serve You.

Lovingly....Amen