I am not kidding!! The "Living Out Loud" side of me that is bursting to get out is sometimes
silenced by my fear of people. BUT NOT ANYMORE!!! The reality is that I need to lose some weight(yes I know I should be happy for what I have done already). I am so close. I can't give up here.
I think my problem is that I don't have accountability. I have a wonderful husband who loves me dearly and at one point I thought he could do it (those of you with husbands are going "oh No no no". Yeah, I figured out pretty quickly that it can't be him. Otherwise, every few days I will be in tears thinking that he isn't attracted to me. Oh haha poor guy! I love him dearly and would rather not punish him (or myself) like that.
So what do you think?
I am looking for creative ideas for workout, diet, accountability or anything you think might help.
I am quite serious at this point. I only have 18 pounds to go. That will put me under 200 which I haven't been since 7th grade. 30 pounds would put me at my "ideal" weight.
I can do this..... I just need to admit that I need some help.
OK so I don't know where to start............EEEEEEKKKKK!!! God has blessed us!!
Ok so I updated you on the $1,000 and the $2,500 and since then we have been given
$50
$20
$25
$4,000
So now we have what we need for the profile and a lot towards our placement cost!!
If we get the tax credit we won't need any more funds. BUT this is what we need prayer for now.... THE TAX CREDIT.
The issue that we are trying to find out about is since we didn't "earn" this money then technically we can not claim it for a federal tax credit. SOOOO........... anyone; if you have any insight or wisdom on such topics please feel free to send it our way.
So far God has provided EVERY SINGLE ONE of our needs so I am not doubting Him now!!!
I started to write a blog this morning about my heart and how I "feel" but I gave up after Dave sat next to me and we started looking through the adoption check book. We need $5,000 to be able to turn in our profile. If you keep up with my blog you know that I have been really nervous about where this $$ would come from.
Today we updated the check book and we have $4,377.23!!!!!!!!!!
That is INCREDIBLE!!!!
God has provided!!
I am not going to lie, I didn't know how this was going to work.
I wasn't sure how we would come up with $5,000 but here we are about a month away from being approved and we are sooooooo close!!! Oh I can't explain the peace!!
Ok so on that note we figured out about how much more we will need and I was getting a little concerned BUT after figuring things out it's only about $7,000. Which seems so so so do-able!!
My theme song for all this has been "Lord move, or move me" by FFH.
This is my prayer and this song reminds me to be on my knees!
Lord,
Move in a way that I have never seen before and if that's not what You have for me then move me out of Your way. Bring me to wherever You want me. Pick me up and hold me close and place me exactly where You need me to be. Lord, You know my heart and You know how much I want to hold, cuddle, kiss and breath in deep our Baby but I trust YOU. I know that You are not going to leave us or our Baby. I am taking comfort in You. Lord, Thank You for providing for us. Thank You for moving in people's hearts and allowing them to give. These people are a HUGE blessing. Lord, I love that You are moving in ways I never expected. I love how You have changed our hearts and how You are moving in
our family. THANK YOU. Lord, please remind me of Your peace when I am scared. Please comfort me when things don't go exactly the way I have planned. Lord, we love You and we are so thankful for all the ways You have blessed us. Amen.
OK so I wrote all that this morning and since then a very sweet dear friend has now written us a check for $2,500!!!!!
So:
Lord,
You have moved in ways I never expected!! You have humbled me and I am so thankful to be Your child. Thank You for loving us!! Amen!!
I am humbled... So very humbled. God has blessed us so much and taught me so very much through out all of this adoption stuff. So I want to share another blessing.
Yesterday at church I shared with my ladies sunday school class how much God was really moving as far as the $$ we need for the adoption. We had over half of what we needed to turn in our profile and that was because of some very generous gifts from our church family and some dear dear friends. So, after church we went to take some teens home. After we dropped them off I had gotten a call from my mom. Meanwhile Dave was opening an envelope that the church treasurer had handed him simply saying "this was in the offering". The envelope was a plan normal size envelope that said "Pastor Dave". Dave saw that there was cash inside but couldn't tell how much because he was driving. So he urged me to get off the phone. I said goodbye to Mom and he handed me the envelope. Inside was 10...$100 bills. My mouth dropped open! I searched for a note or something that would let me know who had sent us such a HUGE blessing but there was nothing. I have no idea who to thank and I so desperately want to thank them. I want them to know that they have impacted our lives. I want them to know that God used them to bring our Baby closer to home. I want them to know that I am so grateful because this Mother's heart is crying out for her baby and I am so thankful. So to you dear friend if you are reading this:
I don't have the words to say. To be honest I am numb. All I can say is THANK YOU. Thank You for loving us in this way. Thank you for the sacrifice you made and thank you for blessing us. You have impacted our lives and you will not be forgotten. Thank You.
On that Thank You note I was taken to my knees at how truly blessed we are and I want to be very clear that I am so so thankful to the God of the Universe for loving us and for loving Our Baby.
Thank You.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
This month is National Adoption Month so I have been trying my hardest just to get the word out there. Truthfully, because last year I didn't know how huge the need was. This year I do and I thought maybe others just didn't know. BUT its amazing to me how God really doesn't need my help at all!
When He wants to move in someone's heart He is going to do it! So I got up this morning and had an email from someone I love very very much and this is what she said:
Have you watched Anne of Green Gables lately? Didn't think much of it. Just folding my laundry and watching. Within five min. someone is telling her that she is good for nothing trash and kicking her out the door. My daughter says "Mommy why did she call her trash?". Then later Matthew says "Lucky for us that she came" and Marilla says "No, it was providence. He knew we needed her" Can I just tell you I cried and a lot more then I normally cry at that movie. I don't think I will ever watch it the same way after being aware of of how many unwanted children there are and what they go through.
Isn't that awesome! God didn't need me... He used "Anne of Green Gables"!
But this leads me to my next thought. It is amazing how many lives are touched by adoption, foster care or orphans! I was amazed to find how many people I know who where adopted, have adopted or that are very supportive to the cause of impacting orphans with the love of Jesus Christ.
So here is what I am thinking... We should really just talk about it more! It has changed so many lives and the stories are so so moving!!
I was laying in bed and had to get these thoughts down before I forgot them... It is National Adoption Month!! November 7th is Orphan Sunday... so I started thinking what would I say given the opportunity and here it is...
How many of you have been adopted or have adopted or are in the process of adopting?
To which I know my Dad would stand up. My Dad's story is incredible!
Then I would say I have never ever known what it feels like to be fatherless. From the very first seconds I was alive my Daddy loved me! My Dad wanted me! When I was 7 or 8 I asked my Heavenly Father to take control of my life and I became an heir to the King. Children all over the world live with the feeling of being not wanted. They are literally fatherless. They can't understand the human loving father because they have never known it and they truly don't understand the role of the Heavenly Father because they have never been told it.
Sometimes I get the feeling that people wonder why we are adopting. Let me clear it up for you, we are adopting because the fatherless need to be shown what real love is, we are doing this because most importantly they need to know that the God of the Universe loves them and wants to heal their hurts. We are doing this because you can't mistake God's Word when it says "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
And finally, we are doing this because we want to impact lives for Jesus Christ. The simple truth is that with the love of God there are No orphans. But they need to know about His love and I am very desperate to be used by Him to impact lives.
This isn't a guilt trip! I truly believe you need to come to this place in God's timing and in His way. All I am saying is that last year I didn't even know there was a "National Adoption Month" or "Orphan Sunday" and this year I am going to do whatever I can to help make a difference.
This video is for anyone considering adoption but this is a whole hearted prayer for our friends that are trying to bring their baby Jamesy home from Ethiopia. Jim and Tiff we love you and are praying that Jamesy is home soon.
This morning I was reading my e-mails and found out that I will NOT be involved in the Craft Fair on Nov. 20th ( I believe it's a space issue). I am not going to lie; I am a little disappointed. Sweet Erin Youmans and I worked really hard at making cards and twigs stars PLUS some incredible people have offered to donate some items and now we are just kinda stuck. I am going to talk to my Dad about having a table set up at the store some Saturday, but the truth is that probably won't bring the same amount of traffic. SO.... the "PLAN" has changed. I have that in quotes because it's MY "PLAN". My Plan has changed but God's plan has not. All along He knew where I would be and what I would be doing. I can take comfort in the fact that His PLAN is SO SO SO much better. I am ok with it but kinda disappointed. I am totally trusting Him but the human(sin) side of me is a little discouraged. Although as I sit here and think about it more, I am not sure why because we had a GREAT weekend. Things went so well. Even with pipes breaking and roofs leaking the homestudy was amazing. We received a very generous gift from our church family that brought us up to half of what we need for the profile expense. So I really need to stop whining and complaining because God has given us exactly what we need when we need it.
OK so I am done!
I am going to leave you with this video of Jaxon showing the SW everything in his toy box.
He told her all about the toys he had and talked about sharing. Later at lunch he prayed for our new baby "that it would grow strong and healthy". The SW nearly cried.
GOD is so good to us!
So I have never added video before... if this doesn't work for some reason... I am so sorry.
