Where have I been?

Where have I been?

Most times I am not even sure how to start a blog but today as I sat down at the computer those words popped into my head.

I have not been away physically but mentally I have.

I moved my heart away from everything because I was so so scared that it would be hurt again.

This West Virginia situation wasn't supposed to hurt so bad.

I think it surprised me. I believe that instead of sitting down and thinking logically through the situation after it happened... I just packed up my heart and headed for the hills. It's funny as if the love of God could not find it.

So God has been seeking me.

Reminding me.

Teaching me.

That is where I have been.

I don't know how many times my heart can break for a Baby that I don't even know.

I don't know how many times I can scream out to the God of the universe begging for Him to bring our child home.

I don't know how many times it will take but it's a price worth paying.

I will keep pursuing the God we serve, I will keep doing everything I can for the Orphans and Widows.

I will keep telling people how real this really is and how desperately these people need to be loved. I will love as many of them as I can. Because this is where God has brought me.

I don't know when our Baby will come.

I know how badly my heart aches for them.

I don't know God's plan.

I know He is faithful.

While I wait...

I am going to continue to hold everything I am up to the God of the universe and trust Him with it.

Prayer:

God,

I love You. I love You. I love You.

I am so scared.

I don't know what else to say. My heart is breaking for my child.

I have so many questions for You.

Are they safe?

Are they healthy?

When are they coming?

I know You are asking me to wait but God I am literally sobbing asking You to please not make me wait long.

My heart hurts in a way that I never thought it would. I didn't expect to fall in love with a child I have never met or even seen. But Lord i am !

I am so in love.

Lord, I trust You. I love You.

I know You are moving in Your time.

Lord, thank You for showing us the truth of James 1:27. THANK YOU!

Thank You for laying this on our hearts.

We want to serve You. We want Your name to be lifted high.

Lord, I love You.

Amen.