When Guilt is good.

This is what I think...

Ready?

Ok I think I have this pattern. I am very ummm let's go with passionate. I have a problem sometimes being a little too pushy and maybe that can come across as intimidating. So when I am in something; I am 100% in it. If I don't feel like I can give 100% then I either don't do it or I only half heartedly do it.

God is educating me. The last few days I have been consumed with guilt because I realized this pattern. As you already know I am an expressive personality so emotions motivate me. I would not usually say that guilt is a good motivator.... but as I think of it more, I am beginning to think that when guilt comes from God... I need to look at why I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I have done something wrong. I did something wrong and so I need to make some changes.

I need to lay my life out in front of me and look at my priorities.

I need to process and make sure that the roles that God designed for me are my first priority.

THEN ... I need to look at my passions and pray to the God of the Universe to show me where HE would like my "extra" attention to go.

Those of you who have adopted or are in the adoption process; I think you will understand this but I feel as if I look through everything with an adoption filter. Adoption is right in front of us. Truthfully, when we started this process, I was very confident. I didn't realize that it would be so exhausting, pressing, heart wrenching. Which will make my last blog (here) make more sense.

Am I willing to face some really hard questions? Like how far will I go? Is there a point where I will give up?

I WON'T!

I think the deeper we get in this process I realize that God is planning and preparing and needed to rebuild my will. He needed to bring me to a place where my priorities are in order before He can bring our child home.

It's humbling how much He loves me.

How she has changed me....

Oh my... How our world is about to change forever.

I have put off writing this blog for weeks.

See God started stirring in our hearts the need to love the fatherless long before we started this adoption process. Actually God started moving in my heart years ago but little did I know what was happening.

So about 12 or so years ago I met this amazing little girl. She and her friends were passing notes across the aisle at church. I didn't know then who she was but little did I know only a few years later she would become a part of my family.

This amazing young lady has had troubles and trials. Things in her life that I would never wish on anyone. My heart broke with hers.

As I grew to know her I realized for the first time in my life what it might have been like to have a younger sibling. I hurt when she hurts. We have spent hours laughing and crying.

Then we made our decision.... We decided that this lovely young woman was a treasure, a precious ruby so valuable that we could just not let her go. So we invited her to come live with us. For the past 3 1/2 years she has been a staple in this house. Jaxon loves her. I wish I had pictures of the 2 of them sitting on her bed. Either reading a book together, playing Ipod or just simply talking.

A week ago, we watched as we let this precious part of our life, walk down the aisle to the man of her dreams. We watched her walk down that aisle knowing that she is not coming back home. I can't even tell you how many times since then that Jaxon has asked when she will be home.

This amazing lady has changed our lives. This amazing girl with her life circumstances is what opened our eyes for the love that should be given to the fatherless. So... 12 years ago God started moving in my heart when I met this little girl who has now turned into an amazing, compassionate woman. Thank you Bethany. Thank you for being a part of this little family. We are gonna miss you around here. I already miss you.

Roger, Thank YOU! Thank you for loving her. Thank you for making it easy to let her walk down the aisle. It was easy to let her go knowing that she would be safe in your arms. We love you so much.

Our home is ALWAYS open to you. Keep your keys. ;)

Would you?

What if God called you to do something extreme?

What if God asked you to step away from what you know?

Step away from everything "comfortable" for you... would you do it?

Would you be willing to be extreme in your love for the Savior that you would sacrifice all that you have known to show love to Him?

Would you be willing to take ridicule from people who don't understand?

Would you be willing to literally walk away from things that you love because you love God more?

Would you sell your car?

Your house?

I feel like these are the questions that God has been asking me.

Have far am I willing to go to be pleasing to the King?

Am I willing to give up all that I know to bring honor and glory to Him?

What if that means changing everything I know to be "normal"? Is that something I want.... Do I love Him enough to do it?

A year ago I would have been shaken by these questions. A year ago my heart would have hurt thinking of these things... But truthfully as I sit writing these questions I get fired up.

I would ABSOLUTELY sell my car, my house or even my hair to bring honor to the God of the Universe. I would ABSOLUTELY move where ever He would call me. I WILL be extreme in my love for Him. I WILL step away from everything I know. I WILL look at every challenge as an adventure. I WILL take away my comfort bubble for His glory.

It is scary to say things like this so " OUT LOUD" its almost like painting a target on your back but I am willing to be the target for my King. I am willing to take whatever He sends me.

This adoption journey has not just opened my eyes to the HUGE need in this world, it has opened my heart to the God that loves me and knows me by name.

So friends~ This is an interactive blog... what are you willing to do? Could you leave your "comfort bubble" for God glory? See we can't have change without people coming together and starting revival.

Wanna change how comfortable we are for God's glory?

4 years!

4 years ago on this day.... hmm well I had been laboring most of the night but my little boy was not ready yet. So ALL day I labored... ALL DAY!! I had friends and family come and see how my progress was but still my little boy wasn't ready. Due to a few complications I couldn't get up and walk around... so I was just sitting in bed... LABORING!

Finally at about 5 in the evening the Dr. decided that our little boy wasn't going to come on his own. So off we went to the surgery suite. Jaxon showed his amazing little face at 5:49. He was adorable! All I wanted to do was smooch his little face but he was taken to the NICU and I was taken to recovery. A couple hours later we both came to our room.

This first picture was literally seconds after me seeing him for the first time.

Oh how he has grown!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAXON!!!

Prayer Requests

So a dear sweet friend asked me to share a list of prayer needs that we have so here it goes.

1. For the Birth Mom~ She is scared and has to make a choice. I don't know who she is but if you are a Mom just imagine knowing you don't have what it takes to raise your child. That is a terrifying thought so pray for her. My heart breaks for her.

2. For the Baby~ Pray that the Baby grows strong and healthy. Pray that the Baby stays safe.

3. For our hearts~ Dave, Jaxon and I we all pray everyday that our Baby will be here soon and it is hard to explain to Jaxon why our Baby isn't here yet. It's hard to explain to myself why our Baby isn't here yet. Pray that we can continue to trust in God's timing.

4. For the Funds~ We still need about $3,000. In the grand scheme of things $3,000 isn't that much. We are planning another fundraiser (walk-a-thon) so please pray that everything will come together for that.

5. Probably most importantly pray that the love of Jesus Christ will be shown in ALL our actions. That because of this adoption people will see the amazing grace of our God and seek to know Him better because of it.

Thanks for praying with us.

From 5k to Walk-a-thon

It looks like we have nailed a few things down.

1. July 2nd is the official date

2. It has gone from a 5k to a Walk-a-thon.

So the walk-a-thon is a LOT easier to plan.

I don't want to sound like I am just taking the "easy" way out. I just had NO IDEA the stuff that goes into a 5K and I just don't have the time it would take. SO>>> TA DA!!

Here we are planning the first ever Coy Family Adoption Walk-a-thon.

So this is the plan:

There will be an entry fee of $10.

Then each walker will get a form where they can also have people sponsor them for every mile they walk. (All donations due the day of the walk)

We will walk from Bill Anderson's Farm Market to and through Dwyer Memorial Park (Little York Park) and then back to Bill Anderson's Farm Market.

After the walk the chicken/ meals will be ready.

Also working on a few details, like t-shirts and such. So if you are interested in walking with us you can contact my Facebook page or you can send me an email jeannecoy17@yahoo.com

Oh I almost forgot. If you have any ideas like ... "you should try this" or "I know this doesn't work" feel free to send them my way. I am always open to suggestions and would welcome the help.

We need to raise $3,000!

God is good and I trust Him .... So here goes!

5k and thoughts

So it is official we will be doing a 5K!

YEAH WOOT WOOT!!

I am really excited about the idea but I am also a little nervous.

I love organizing events, but I ALWAYS feel like I am going to forget something.

So I am going to use my blog as a place to process my thoughts and if I miss something(s) feel free to shout out!

Ok ...

Here it goes...

I need to find people willing to cook chicken. Probably 3 or 4.

For food we will need:

Plates

Forks

Napkins

Cups

A Giant Mac Salad

A huge pot of Baked Beans

Rolls?

The chicken and the mix we get from the sweet place in town.

For the race we will need:

Point Markers

Starting and Finishing Signs

...

...

...

there has to be more but I have never planned a 5k before. (eek!)

I am also thinking about t-shirts.

I think they will be white.

"open your heart to adoption" has sorta become our theme so I want to kinda stick with that but maybe design a shirt specifically for the 5k. Any thoughts?

I am trying my best to stop feeling overwhelmed... I get waves of panic when I think about ALL we have to do but it is usually quickly followed by a feeling of hope. I remember what we are doing this for and I am reminded of all the small children without parents and THEN i get all fired up and fear is the last thought on my mind.

I want to be obedient to the God we serve and do WHATEVER it takes to love the fatherless.

GOD has brought us here and when I am ready to give up (thinking He has left us) He floods my soul with peace and reminds me (yet again) that it is SO not about me.

Happy Mother's Day

I love my Mom so much. I am not going to pretend like things have always been "peachy" with us. We have had our moments... but now my Mom is truly one of my best friends. I tell her everything and I would be lost without her.

My Hubby is gonna say a few words about his Mama.

"My mom is perfect! . . . just kidding. Most people reading this probably don't know my mom. In one word, I would say servant. She goes out of her way to help people and to provide for them. She doesn't love being up front, but if that's what's needed she will do that too. She has a huge heart & concern for people. I love my mom .... and that's all I got to say about that!"

So 4 years ago on Mother's Day I skipped (ssshhh) church.

I skipped church because Jaxon was due and was not ready. The bun was still baking in the oven. I skipped because I could not handle another person asking me why Jaxon wasn't here yet. I know that may sound silly but those of you who have ever had an overdue baby will TOTALLY understand. I believe the date was May 12th and 5 days later after laboring ALL day I had an emergency c-section. Jaxon was making some funny noises so they showed him to me and quickly took him to the NICU. I was taken to recovery... Dave sat there for about umm 2.5 seconds before we said in almost unison "Go check on him"... Dave ran off and a few minutes later my Mom and Dave's Mom came to see me. As soon as I saw them I started bawling. I grabbed on to my Moms hand and said " Mom, I want my Baby". Both my Mom and Dave's Mom reassured me that he was fine. 5 hours later (the longest of my life) Jaxon and I came to our room at the same time. I finally got to see him and kiss his little adorable face. I was so proud to be a Mommy. Jaxon has been a huge blessing and I couldn't imagine my life without him.

So here I sit wanting so badly to be a Mommy again for our new Baby. It would be easy to get down in the dumps and think " What is God doing?" but I read this blog and realized that I have so much to be thankful for.

Happy Mother's Day.

Enjoy your family.